Cooterdoodle presents the Fantasy Football Awards the Cooties.

This isn't your typical award ceremony. We're not here to give pats on the back for big plays or historic stat lines. 

We're here to reward the fans for everything we've been put through this year. 

Let's see what our players have won, shall we?

Welcome to The 2024 Cootie Awards!

WORST CALL AWARD

I bet you thought I was going to talk about those Roughing the Passer penalties during the HOU/KC playoff game, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?? I mean yeah, those were bad. But this award goes to…

Ring, Ring! 

It's Episode 2 of Hard Knocks calling. They want to know if the Giants have any regrets after letting Saquon Barkley "test the market" in the offseason.

Barkley finished the 2024 regular season with 2,005 rushing yards in Philadelphia and he is currently headed to the NFC Championship. The Giants? Eh. They'll be watching from home.

Oof. Talk about a digital footprint.

BIGGEST OVERREACTION AWARD

Don't let Kyren Williams' 316 rushing attempts for 1,299 yards and 14 TDs fool you. 

The Rams had fantasy managers screaming, crying, and throwing up in the offseason when McVay announced their big plans to have Williams return punts. 


But it was all just some elaborate ruse, because Williams finished the season with more rushing attempts, more yards, more TDs, and more receptions than he did the year prior. 

Kyren Williams 2023 vs. 2024

  • 2023: 228 car, 1,144 yds, 12 TDs, 32 recs
  • 2024: 316 car, 1,299 yds, 14 TDs, 34 recs

Talk about an unwarranted panic-spree. But hey, at least some of you got an ADP discount on the Rams’ bellcow in your drafts.

MOST MOBILE PLAYER AWARD

This is not a QB award. Sorry. While Lamar Jackson's rushing stats were pretty impressive, he hasn't been the most mobile player this year. 

Not by a longshot.

This award goes to a receiver who played for FOUR different teams, getting traded twice and cut once in less than 12 months. 

Now THAT'S mobile.

Get on over here, Diontae Johnson! Take your award. Then, you're free to go somewhere … anywhere else.

MOST DRAMATIC REUNION AWARD

It's hard to say if Stefon Diggs regrets his decision to play for the Texans in 2024. His injury obviously wasn't part of the plan and it put a damper on his overall expectations. But things didn't end so well in Buffalo, either. 

This was all but confirmed when the Texans faced up against the Bills in October. Diggs and his laser-focused side eye went viral…
 

Look, who's to say where this ends up next year. You never know. This may not be the end of the story for Diggs and Josh Allen! But as for the Texans' 2024 season? Yeah, THAT story is over. 

Anyway … I wonder who Diggs will be rooting for in the AFC Championship this year.

BIGGEST IMPOSTER AWARD

I don't want to spend too much time recounting those two weeks during the 2024 regular season when everyone thought the Saints (hahaha!) had a chance (hahahaa!) to make it to the Super Bowl (hahahahha).

But don't get it twisted, everyone thought it was possible—Not just Saints fans (like me). 

Nothing could stop the 2-0 Saints. Until … Literally everyone did. How could 2-0 turn into 2-7 so quickly?

Now, New Orleans moves into 2025 as impoverished as ever with a hefty NEGATIVE $50mil in cap space. The worst in the NFL. 

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

GREATEST GASLIGHT AWARD

Yeah, I know Tyreek Hill himself stated that he needed to "leave a door open for himself" after expressing disappointment in a 2024 that did not take him to a single playoff game. 

And, I knowwww Hill continued to say "I'm out, bro. It was great playing here, but at the end of the day I got to do what's best for my career." He didn't speak in code. It was pretty clear that he wanted out of Miami.

And sure, Hill even changed his social media profile picture to a body shot of that one game when Antonio Brown left the field—with Hill's own face photoshopped in. 

But no, no, no, no, no!

Hill loves Miami! Are you crazy?! He does! He never intended on leaving, silly! 

Hill "never requested a trade" … So it's fine! Nothing to see here, folks!

FAAB-BUSTER AWARD

None of us want to relive those few weeks where we thought Isaiah Likely would be the Ravens' TE1.

Hopes were crushed. FAAB was wasted. All for Mark Andrews to come back to life midseason and outscore Likely in the end.

But we never do learn … I wonder who we'll all blow our FAAB on next season?