Week 2 has come and gone. 16 NFL games brought joy, laughs, and tears to football fans and, of course, fantasy football faithful.

Today, we’ll focus on the latter sadness and break down just how close some came to achieving fantasy football glory. Critics might call this unnecessary cruelty, while supporters could claim it helps with understanding the full context of what exactly happened last week.

Either way: Welcome to the Sheesh Report.

What follows is a breakdown of all the tilting, near-miss moments from Week 2 that left fantasy managers and fans alike saying, "Sheesh." I’ve watched hours of film and combed play-by-play data to help determine instances when:

  • Pass-catchers could have scored or picked up big yardage with a more accurate pass
  • Pass-catchers did receive an accurate pass that should have resulted in a score or big gain, but the ball was dropped
  • Ball carriers managed to get all the way to the one-yard line, but didn’t score
  • Players scored or picked up big yardage, but the play was nullified by penalty
  • Other random shit-tilted fantasy football managers of all shapes and sizes

First: The "Sheesh-VP" of Week 2 AKA the award for the player least responsible for having an absolute dud in the box score goes to …

Steelers WR George Pickens … SHEESH

Box score aficionados probably looked at Pickens' two receptions for 29 scoreless yards and concluded that ace Broncos CB Patrick Surtain Jr. had simply locked down yet another No. 1 WR. Or maybe they thought Justin Fields had a rough day at the office. Pulling the "Arthur Smith must have messed it up" card usually works, right?

*Best Lee Corso impression* Not so fast my friend: They would all be wrong because Pickens spent the better part of Sunday afternoon cooking Surtain and the rest of the Denver secondary.

For those counting at home: Pickens directly missed out on 13.7 PPR points from two offensive penalties that were not committed by him. This doesn't even include the extra potential boost from perhaps hauling in that sideline catch in the absence of defensive pass interference. Sheesh.

High-end target volume figures to be an ongoing problem for Pickens inside the Steelers' run-first offense, but the third-year talent deserves credit for largely making the most out of his opportunities this season. Overall, Pickens is averaging career-best marks in yards per route run (2.65), passer rating when targeted (114.2), and targets per route run (23.3%) through two weeks of action. Not too shabby for a guy who just turned 23 last March.

It remains to be seen whether or not Fields will keep the starting job once Russell Wilson (calf) is healthy enough to suit up. Either way: Look for Pickens to continue to make his presence felt on 50/50 balls and on downfield shots — I maintain he'd be a GREAT dark horse contender to win a league-wide game of "500" should the situation arise.

Speaking of WRs missing out on downfield opportunities…

Unrealized air yards are a helluva drug

We can help quantity sheeshy plays like Pickens' aforementioned DPI incompletion and other missed downfield opportunities using “unrealized air yards,” which are derived by subtracting yards after the catch from every player’s receiving yards total before taking the difference with total air yards to pinpoint exactly how much opportunity through the air (not including potential YAC) a player failed to come down with for one reason or another.

We're essentially measuring the total distance of everyone's incomplete targets. A high number indicates a player had lots of fantasy-friendly opportunities, but didn't capitalize on them for one reason or another. Cool? Cool.

ANYWAYS: 10 players racked up at least 85 unrealized air yards in Week 2 (including penalties):

Ridley leads the league with 229 unrealized air yards on the season. While many of the misses should probably be blamed on Will Levis, Ridley deserves a bit of slander for dropping a b-e-a-utiful pearl that would have gone for at least 40 yards against the Jets. Sheesh.

Speaking of ill-timed drops…

Catch the ball, man

While drops are a somewhat subjective stat, you know one when you see one — and I, unfortunately, saw the following five dropped TDs with my own two eyes:

There was also an instance of Jaguars WR Gabe Davis not looking for the football and accordingly nearly taking it off the dome on what sure looked like could have been a four-yard TD. Not great!

Of course, sometimes sheeshy non-TDs should be blamed a bit more on the person throwing the pass in the first place… 

Would have been a lot cooler if these throws were better

You know the moment. The receiver got open, the QB had a reasonable pocket to work from, the pass was there, the crowd stood up … and sheesh: Overthrown, underthrown, too high, or too low, and all that goes into the box score is an incompletion.

Below are five of these unfortunate sequences (sheesh-quences?) that occurred during the last week of action with varying degrees of needed YAC:

  • Seahawks WR D.K. Metcalf: Nearly got loose for a second long TD, but unfortunately Geno Smith appeared to be ever so slightly hit as he threw, leading to an incompletion instead of a 45-yard house call.
  • Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb: Got enough separation for a potential 29-yard TD … only for Dak Prescott to deliver an uncatchable sheesh.
  • Commanders WR Dyami Brown: Had some room in the back of the end zone for what probably should have been a nine-yard score, and yet here we are sheesh'ing.
  • Cardinals WR Marvin Harrison: Arguably should have had a third TD on the day from seven yards out, but the back-shoulder target was just a bit too wide and fell incomplete.
  • 49ers WR Brandon Aiyuk: Had quite a bit of separation in the corner of the end zone, but Brock Purdy didn't give him enough room on what could have been a four-yard TD.

Unfortunate sheeshes for sure, although sometimes a sheesh actually works out for one of the involved parties.

Wait, HOW did Trey McBride score that TD?

Cardinals RB James Conner was looking to find the end zone for the second time on a routine carry from the seven-yard line during Carolina's demolition of the Rams. That's when the veteran bell cow had the football punched out of his arms … only for TE Trey McBride to find his way to the football—conveniently in the end zone.

What a way to score six fantasy points. Of course, not everyone was so lucky around the goal line last week.

The Eagles RB special: Down at the one-yard line, and no TD

Getting all the way to the one-yard line but failing to score a TD is objectively a sheeshy feeling—particularly when fantasy managers are forced to watch someone else vulture away the score that was SO CLOSE to belonging to them.

Here’s the full list of Week 2’s players who managed to get the football within three feet of the goal line, but not quite across the plane, and ultimately didn’t score later on the same drive:

Near scores don't get much sheeshier than this. Then again, sometimes they do.

Touchdown! Yay! Oh No: Flag.

TDs usually get nullified by a penalty for a good reason, but that doesn’t make the roller coaster of adrenaline any less sheeshful for fantasy managers to deal with.

In Week 2 there were five such instances.

*Law and Order Music*

These are their stories:

  • Commanders RB Austin Ekeler: Returned the opening kickoff of the game 98 yards to the house … only for the pretty sweet return to get called back by a hold. Ekeler flashed a bit in Week 1 as well and certainly appears to still have some juice.
  • Saints TE Foster Moreau: 26-yard TD reception was nullified on an illegal man downfield penalty after some of the offensive linemen leaked out a bit too far. I'm not sure fantasy football Twitter could have handled another TE1 performance from the Saints' backup TE.
  • Packers RB Josh Jacobs: Galloped 20 yards into the end zone on a sweep, only for the score to be called back on a hold that honestly seemed to be a bit behind the play. Then again, maybe I'm just a bitter Jacobs fantasy manager.
  • Steelers WR George Pickens: Had an aforementioned six-yard TD reception nullified on a fairly ticky tack OPI penalty on Van Jefferson.
  • Jaguars WR Christian Kirk: Two-yard TD reception nullified on an illegal shift penalty by D'Ernest Johnson. This motion TRULY had nothing to do with the TD being scored. Sheesh.

Also note that Travis Kelce had a 41-yard reception nullified on a holding penalty. The play was especially notable because Kelce faked a lateral 30 yards downfield before stiff-arming a defender and gaining another few yards. Absolute king shit, although sadly no fantasy points were awarded for the spectacle.

Our final category of sheesh is another decision left at the digression of the zebras.

What if defensive pass interference yards counted for fantasy points?

Defensive pass interferences can be finicky and don’t always occur in instances when the targeted receiver would have FOR SURE made the catch.

That said: They are very annoying for fantasy managers to deal with when the result could’ve, should’ve, would’ve been a chunk gain — and maybe even a TD.

The top seven players in most yards gained courtesy of drawing DPI flags were as follows:

I think I speak for all of us when I say for one last time: Sheesh.

Thanks for stopping by. We're on to Week 3.