Despite getting in some limited practices throughout the playoffs, heās been inactive every game due to a āhip injury.ā
Or thatās at least what we were told.
After the Chiefs ruled him out for the AFC Championship game, Toney took to Instagram and said he wasnāt hurt. He actually said a lot more than that, but this is a family-friendly newsletter, after all.
Well, now the Super Bowl is here, Toney is practicing, and Reid has a very difficult decision:
Iād be surprised if he plays. The Chiefs have made it through a tough playoff gauntlet playing their A-game without Toney, so I donāt know why youād rock the boat now.
Although Toney clearly has a different take:
If you want to see how Iām handling the Chiefsā messy pass-catching corps, check out this weekās Hidden Gems piece, where I did a deep dive on how to approach them in Pick āEm and DFS.
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For readers of Fantasy Life, a special treat awaits:
Your team could have made it to the Super Bowl. Today, Ian explains howā¦
What follows is a breakdown of exactly how every other team could have punched their ticket to Super Bowl XVIII. Surely fans will treat this light-hearted exercise with rational and clear eyes and not get too worked up; teams are ranked by who seemingly had the most realistic chance of actually making this happen.
š¤ What if one or two plays went differently?
Baltimore Ravens
Detroit Lions
Green Bay Packers
Buffalo Bills
And weāre seriously talking about only one or two plays.
Ravens WR Zay Flowers was inches away from breaking the plane of the end zone before Chiefs CB LāJarius Sneed made a brilliant play to force the fumble. It also would have been a lot cooler if Lamar Jackson hadnāt thrown this ill-advised interception into triple coverage to cap off a 12-play, 74-yard drive in the fourth quarter.
There was also this borderline drop by Jameson Williams on what could have been a go-ahead fourth-quarter TD. Oh, and Campbell did actually mess up late by calling a timeout with 1:00 remaining and thus forfeiting the chance to get the football back.
All in all: This was particularly rough. Sorry, Lions fans:
And then we have the Bills and Packers, who certainly shot themselves in the foot (looking at you, Stefon Diggs and Jordan Love), but also had to deal with reasonable missed fourth-quarter field goals during their respective three-point losses.
The weather wasnāt perfect in either game; just realize both Packers K Anders Carlson (41) and Bills K Tyler Bass (44) missed field goals in a range (40-49 yards) that was converted 79.6% of the time during the 2023 regular season.
š Can Elon Musk invent anti-choke medicine for January already
Dallas Cowboys
Miami Dolphins
The NFLās top-two scoring offenses picked the worst time to have a bad day last month.
While Dak Prescott and company would eventually rack up 510 total yards and 32 points, two crucial first-half interceptions resulted in a red-zone possession that quickly turned into a TD as well as a straight-up pick-six.
The latter mistake was Prescottās only interception returned for a score on the season after having a league-high three such turnovers in 2022; it was a true gut punch and served as an early dagger for Cowboys faithful.
And then thereās the Dolphins, who scored a season-low seven points during their freezing Wild Card loss at Arrowhead.
Consider: The only time that head coach Mike McDaniel was held to fewer points as a major coach was literally his first game as the 49ersā run game coordinatorā¦back in 2017.
Tua Tagovailoa posted single-game lows across nearly every meaningful efficiency metric before redeeming himself, posting the worst score of any QB in the Pro Bowlās Precision Passing event.
The fantasy football season might be over, but we are NOT ready to unplug. Cooterdoodle is here to keep our minds in check by asking the age-old, evergreen question: āWhat Now?ā
š¤ What Now? Itās Betting SZN, Baby!
Football is fun, but having some skin in the game is EXCITING. Weāve got one last go at this football thing. Letās bet on it with BetMGM!
š Coin Toss/Coin Winner
Hey internet sleuths, hear me out on this one. I actually do have a theory on this ā50/50ā bet that has me leaning towards Heads. And no, itās not because of the odds.
Instead, Iām going to bet on history repeating itself.
You see, it wasnāt that long ago that the 49ers and Chiefs faced off in a Super Bowl matchup.
The Super Bowl LIV depth chart may have looked a little different, but there have been too many coincidences between 2020 vs. 2024 for us to ignore the hilarity that a coin toss repeat would have on the masses.
So, I say we go āfull sendā and brace for the chaos that could only come from a repeat of epic proportions. Travel back in time with me for just a momentā¦
Seems doable. So, letās run it back again, shall we?
I also believe in the strategy of betting against the team youāre rooting for. You know, so that way youāre pleased with any outcome. Itās kinda like that saying, āPut your money where your mouth is.ā Except, itās nothing like that at all.
And if you still canāt decide on whether or not you want to bet Heads or Tailsā¦ I donāt knowā¦ Maybe flip a coin?
š Gatorade Bath Bet
This is a fun one. While we technically could do a little statistical breakdown of the Super Bowl-winning Gatorade baths of the past, Iām not so sure that will give us the upper hand weāre looking for.
You see, itās been done already. Orange is theoretically the ācolor to beat.ā
Call me crazy if you will, but I personally believe that odds mean nothing in the world of fruity-flavored electrolytes.
So I say we go with our guts on this one. Me? My gut says āRedā, purely based on the teamsā colors.
And if you disagree, please donāt yell at me. Weāre talking about sugary water here.
ā° Time of First Points
I want this game to be the high-scoring, unabashedly sexy offensive matchup of our dreams! But Iām afraid that this would just make too much sense.
So Iām going to bet against my heart and take the āNo points scored in the first 5 minutesā side on this one. Itās a win/win!
š Super Bowl MVP Position
Alright. SURE. The Super Bowl MVP has never been a TE. Currently, the odds reflect this at +900. And sure, all we need is for Travis Kelce or George Kittle to ball the f*ck out.
But I donāt care if the odds are against me on this one. I donāt care if it would be the absolute first time ever a TE won MVP in the history of the Super Bowl. All we need is one of these guys to score, like ā¦ 3TDs?
We know the Chiefās WRs are likely to drop a few balls here and there. We know the 49ers are going to split the ball between Deebo Samuel, Christian McCaffrey and Brandon Aiyuk andā¦
Yea, yea, yea. The MVP will probably be a QB. But I canāt say that Iām rooting for tight ends one week and not bet on them the next. Soā¦ ALL IN ON TIGHT END! Tag me if you tail me on TE, and weāll sweat this thing out together.
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