Sheesh Report. The Biggest Misses from Fantasy Football Week 14.

Week 14 has come and gone. Fifteen NFL games brought joy, laughs and tears to football fans and, of course, fantasy football faithful.

Today, we’ll focus on the latter sadness and break down just how close some came to achieving fantasy football glory.

What follows is a breakdown of all the “Sheesh” moments from Week 14. I’ve watched every game and combed play-by-play data to help determine instances when:

• Pass-catchers could have scored or picked up big yardage with a more accurate pass 
• Pass-catchers did receive an accurate pass that should have resulted in a score or big gain, but the ball was dropped
• Ball carriers or pass-catchers managed to get all the way to the one-yard line, but didn’t score
• Players scored or picked up big yardage, but the play was nullified by a penalty
• Other random shit found a way to tilt fantasy football managers of all shapes and sizes

First, the one player who brought more sheesh into the universe than anyone else over the weekend…

Jerry Jeudy had a sheeshful afternoon at the office

Last week this very column highlighted some of the missed downfield opportunities to Jeudy that Broncos head coach Sean Payton brought up to the media.

Not this week! Jeudy suffered three egregious mishaps during the Broncos’ win over the Chargers, letting a pair of downfield bombs bounce off his hands while also failing to get his second foot inbounds on what initially appeared to be an easy five-yard TD.

Both Jeudy and Russell Wilson could have had an extra 100-plus yards and a TD to their respective box scores without the sheesh. Alas, the 24-year-old talent’s incredibly disappointing 2023 campaign continues — somewhere Steve Smith Sr. is smiling.

While Jeudy might have done enough to capture sheesh player of the week “honors,” a different player undoubtedly made a much bigger individual sheesh.

Yes, Kadarius Toney was offside. Also yes, sheesh

This is probably the frontrunner for sheesh of the year at the moment.

Initial uproar from head coach Andy Reid and the Chiefs was replaced by a Monday admission that Toney never checked with the official … although it kind of looked like he briefly did?

Ultimately, Toney was indeed lined up offsides — and the officials accordingly nullified one of the coolest TDs the game has ever seen. Patrick Mahomes didn’t exactly take it well, telling Josh Allen after the game it was the, “Worst f****** call I've ever seen."

Dec 10, 2023; Kansas City, Missouri, USA; Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver Kadarius Toney (19) scores a touchdown during the second half against the Buffalo Bills at GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium. The play would be called back due to an offensive penalty. Mandatory Credit: Jay Biggerstaff-USA TODAY Sports

There were two more (far less consequential) TDs that never actually happened because the officials decided to throw their stupid little yellow flags and ruin the fun of fantasy managers and anytime TD bettors alike:

• Backup Bengals QB A.J. McCarron found Tee Higgins for a 10-yard TD. The only problem: Higgins shoved his coverage defender to make the reception in the first place, leading to a warranted OPI penalty.
• Colts RB Zack Moss finally found the end zone on a 10-yard TD rush … only for the score to be nullified on a holding call by G Quenten Nelson. I am NOT a doctor, but this seemed like a pretty soft penalty. 

Mike Evans got two feet down inbounds — but it wasn’t a touchdown

For good reason: His hand came down out of bounds before his second foot touched down inbounds. We’re talking about Evans being this close to saving his lackluster fantasy performance with a 20-yard TD.

Tampa Bay’s follow-up challenge was to no avail and they had to settle for the field goal. Luckily, Baker Mayfield’s fourth-quarter heroics lasted until the final whistle (for once) and the now-first-place Buccaneers managed to eat their sixth W of the season anyway.

Zay it ain’t so

Air yards measure the distance that any given pass travels (wait for it) in the air. Subtracting yards after the catch from every player’s receiving yards total before taking the difference with total air yards helps us pinpoint exactly how much opportunity through the air a player failed to come down with for one reason or another.

Sometimes unrealized air yards are more akin to “prayer yards” because the pass wasn’t overly catchable in the first place, so grinding the ole film helps with identifying those sorts of situations.

Eight players racked up triple-digit unrealized air yards in Week 14 specifically:

• Jaguars WR Zay Jones (191)
• Panthers WR Jonathan Mingo (151)
• Rams WR Demarcus Robinson (138)
• Bills WR Stefon Diggs (126)
• Buccaneers WR Chris Godwin (120)
• Broncos WR Jerry Jeudy (120)
• Ravens WR Odell Beckham Jr. (114)
• Texans WR Noah Brown (103)

Fun fact: Saints WR Chris Olave has an NFL-high 1,093 unrealized air yards this season. Nobody else is even at 900. Sheesh!

Just give Bijan Robinson a chance, man

Our previous section helped quantify the most missed opportunities through the air, but there were an additional handful of targets that I can’t help call out because it sure seemed like the following players could have put six points on the board with a bit more accurate pass.

For example, Desmond Ridder had a layup of a two-yard score to RB Bijan Robinson … only to sail the football wide and outside to produce the sheesh.

Overall, there were roughly 10 instances where I subjectively believe pass-catchers didn’t receive catchable passes on what would have otherwise been TDs, although differing levels of openness, difficulty of throw and pressure hardly made all of these near misses of the layup variety.

As Benjamin Franklin once said: Not all sheesh is created equal.

• Dolphins RB De'Von Achane (85-yard TD in a best-case scenario, at least should have been a chunk 40-plus yard gain)
• Lions WR Jameson Williams (71, either way should have at least been a 40-plus yard gain)
• Vikings WR Jalen Nailor (71, there's a chance his coverage defender could have made a shoe-string tackle)
• Bengals WR Tee Higgins (70, but at least he still managed to make a nice adjustment to produce a big play)
• Jaguars WR Zay Jones (61, there's a chance the safety could have caught him before getting to the end zone, but it would have been close after Jones' coverage defender fell down)
• Panthers WR Jonathan Mingo (45 — this miss was ROUGH)
• Cowboys WR Brandin Cooks (27)
• Colts TE Kylen Granson (24)
• Chiefs WR Rashee Rice (13)
• Chargers RB Austin Ekeler (3, but at least he did rush for a TD on the next play)
• Falcons RB Bijan Robinson (2)

Also note that the opposite of a better ball TD occurred when Packers QB Jordan Love lofted what appeared to be a perfectly catchable 14-yard TD … only for Jayden Reed to fail to find the football in the air before it fell incomplete.

Would have been a lot cooler if DeVonta Smith caught this

There were roughly six clear dropped TDs in Week 14, which sucks because, you know, football is pretty cool when players make great catches and score points:

• Cowboys WR CeeDee Lamb (62 with a bit of a YAC assist)
• Eagles WR DeVonta Smith (33)
• Bears TE Cole Kmet (9, although the pass also admittedly wasn’t perfect)
• Packers WR Malik Heath (6 – but he caught the next pass for the go-ahead score anyway)
• Chargers TE Gerald Everett (6)
• Titans WR Nick Westbrook-Ikhine (5)

There were a few other drops that wouldn’t have gone for TDs themselves, but the lost chunk yardage certainly cost each respective offense a big-time chance to eventually cash in.

• Lions WR Amon-Ra St. Brown dropped not one but two would-be first downs that wound up killing a fourth quarter drive. The second was particularly brutal on 4th and 17.
• Texans WR Noah Brown let a potential 50-yard BOMB go off his fingertips on a 3rd and 12 shot play. Not the easiest catch in the world, but the sheesh committee determined the ball did in fact hit his hands.
• Eagles WR A.J. Brown would have set the Eagles up inside the 10-yard line had he managed to come down with this b-e-a-utiful dime from Jalen Hurts, yet here we are sheeshing.

Rumor has it that on-field microphones actually heard AJB mutter, “Sheesh!”

Derek Carr tried to throw the football to his … left tackle

And it was hilarious.

Overly relevant to the article or fantasy football in general? Not really,

But still: Hilarious.

Good effort, Miles Sanders

Getting all the way to the one-yard line but failing to score a TD is objectively a sheeshy feeling — particularly when fantasy managers are forced to watch someone else vulture away the score that was SO CLOSE to belonging to them.

Here’s the full list of Week 14’s players who managed to get the football within three feet of the goal line, but not quite across the plane, and ultimately didn’t score later on the same drive:

• Bengals RB Joe Mixon (x2, same drive)
• Cowboys RB Tony Pollard
• Rams RB Kyren Williams
• Buccaneers RB Rachaad White
• Panthers RB Miles Sanders (and man it was a great run to get there)
• Jaguars WR Calvin Ridley
• Cowboys WR Brandin Cooks
• Titans QB Will Levis
• Giants QB Tommy Devito

Also note that Deebo Samuel was stopped at the one-yard line on a reception before rushing in for a TD, leaving Brock Purdy managers sheeshing at least a little bit.

Finally, we draw the line at the one-yard line in this section — a man has to have a code after all — but it’s hard not to mention 49ers RB Christian McCaffrey galloping 72 yards to the three-yard line on the game’s opening play … only for backup Jordan Mason to calmly swoop in and vulture the score. CMC still racked up plenty of fantasy numbers, but anytime TD bettors were certainly feeling a bit sheeshful after that electrifying run.

“Not all interceptions are created equal.” — Mahatma Gandhi

While the box score doesn’t account for who to blame on any particular interception, Joshua Dobbs a rocket scientist isn’t always required to figure out that sometimes the QB wasn’t overly at fault.

Specifically:

• Lions QB Jared Goff certainly didn't have a game to write home about; just realize his two interceptions both came on 4th down with 10 and 25 yards to go, so his forced passes into tight coverage were warranted given the less-than-ideal situations.
• Falcons QB Desmond Ridder was intercepted on a brilliant read by Buccaneers CB Carlton Davis, who curiously wasn't even touched by a pair of Falcons blockers on his way to jumping the screen pass and nearly turning things into a pick-six.
• Browns QB Joe Flacco tried to fire a slant to WR Cedric Tillman on a pick play; the problem was it was Tillman who got picked by the Jaguars corner, resulting in an easy interception.
• Jaguars QB Trevor Lawrence threw what sure seemed like a catchable enough pass down the seam to WR Calvin Ridley, but we'll never fully know because the ex-Falcons veteran never turned around for the football, accordingly resulting in an interception.
• 49ers QB Brock Purdy and Brandon Aiyuk had one of those plays where it's tough to be absolutely certain who was at fault considering the receiver gained plenty of separation on his initial route, even if there was certainly more separation to be had if he had run to where Purdy was throwing. You be the judge.
• Broncos QB Russell Wilson’s only interception of the afternoon probably should have been a short completion to Marvin Mims, but Chargers CB Michael Davis made a great play and ripped the ball away.

Additionally, Patrick Mahomes, Justin Herbert, Gardner Minshew, Derek Carr and Drew Lock had interceptions occur from the pass either being deflected at the line of scrimmage or because they were hit while throwing. Perhaps not great decisions regardless, but a bit less sheeshful than a typical misread or inaccurate pass.

Might want to skip this one, Puka Nacua fantasy managers

Fun fact: Fantasy players don’t get rewarded fantasy points for drawing defensive pass interference penalties. Should they? I don’t really think so, but some people disagree with me, so here we are.

The top six players in most yards gained courtesy of drawing DPI flags were as follows in Week 14:

• Rams WR Puka Nacua (31 total yards gained on DPI penalties)
• Packers WR Jayden Reed (27)
• Jaguars WR Parker Washington (25)
• Dolphins WR Cedrick Wilson (17)
• Bengals WR Ja’Marr Chase (15)
• Cowboys WR Michael Gallup (15)

Additionally, Steelers TE Pat Freiermuth (from the 8-yard line) and Texans WR Noah Brown (8) drew DPIs in the end zone to set up their offense at the one-yard line.

I think I speak for all of us when I say for one last time: Sheesh.

We’re on to Week 15.