Sheesh Report. The Biggest Misses from Week 5.

Week 5 has come and gone. 14 NFL games brought joy, laughs and tears to football fans and, of course, fantasy football faithful.

Today, we’ll focus on the latter sadness and break down just how close some came to achieving fantasy football glory.

What follows is a breakdown on all the “Sheesh” moments from Week 5. I’ve watched every game and combed play-by-play data to help determine instances when:

• Pass-catchers who could have scored or picked up big yardage with a more accurate pass 
• Pass-catchers who did receive an accurate pass that should have resulted in a score or big gain, but the ball was dropped
• Ball carriers who managed to get all the way to the one-yard line, but didn’t score 
• Players who scored or picked up big yardage, but the play was nullified by a penalty
• Other random shit that tilted fantasy football managers of all shapes and sizes

First, let’s start a dialogue about just how much sheesh Lamar Jackson had to go through in Week 5.

The Ravens dropped *seven* passes in their loss to the Steelers

That total is good for the highest single-game mark of 2023 and included two drops in the end zone as well as two on passes thrown 20-plus yards downfield.

Never has a box score been so misleading. Sheesh.

Hell, these don’t even include Zay Flowers inexplicably falling down upon getting wide open deep for what should have been good for 30-plus yard gain — if not a 75-yard house call.

There was a lot of conversation entering the season about the Ravens’ new shiny WR core helping Jackson reach new heights as a passer. Well, through five weeks he’s one of just six QBs to have double-digit passes dropped — the 2019 NFL MVP has actually been one of the league’s most accurate throwers of the football when adjusting for these miscues:

• Overall adjusted completion rate: 80.3% (No. 5 among 36 qualified QB)
• On passes 10 to 19 yards downfield: 87.1% (No. 2)
• On passes 20-plus yards downfield: 44.4% (No. 14)

Jackson has still managed to post top-10 fantasy numbers this season; just realize his overall counting numbers through the air have had the potential to be far higher through no fault of his own.

Overall, only Matthew Stafford (123) has more incomplete air yards on dropped passes than Jackson (121). Sheesh.

Are we absolutely positive that D.J. Moore stepped out of bounds?

I’m sure not — and the NFL curiously failed to supply a conclusive replay after the fact.

Later on the same drive Moore utilized a rather filthy double-move to break open for a potential score from 25 yards out, only for Justin Fields to sail the football long and incomplete.

To summarize: Moore’s 8-230-3 performance nearly included an additional 25-plus yards and another trip to the end zone. Not too shabby for the 26-year-old talent, who is on pace to rack up 92 receptions for 1,805 yards and 17 TDs after five weeks of action.

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David Montgomery and Joe Mixon were so close, yet so far away

The ex-Bears RB has scored six TDs in four games this season as the bell-cow back inside of the Lions’ fourth-ranked scoring offense.

And yet, Montgomery left a lot of meat on the bone last Sunday, getting stopped at the one-yard line not once but TWICE on drives that ended with TDs for Josh Reynolds and Jared Goff.

This is sheeshy enough — but later in the game fantasy managers had to watch as backup RB Craig Reynolds got the ball inside the five-yard line, looked to the sideline expecting Montgomery to replace him for goal-line duties, only to be told to stay on the field by his teammate and Lions RB coach Scottie Montgomery.

Reynolds would score two plays later and get mobbed by his teammates — especially Montgomery himself. It was a very cool moment … for everyone except Montgomery’s fantasy managers.

And then there’s Mixon, who was just one measly yard away from helping the Bengals put up a 40 piece during their Week 5 win over the Cardinals.

The sheesh-by-sheesh breakdown:

• 1st down at the Cardinals’ 10-yard line: Mixon gains six yards to the four. Things are looking good!
• 2nd down at the four-yard line: The Bengals give the ball to Mixon again, and he gets all the way to the one-yard line. Fantastic!
• 3rd down at the one-yard line: Mixon is stuffed on a run up the middle courtesy of a brilliant fill by Cardinals CB Antonio Hamilton. Not ideal!
• 4th down at the one-yard line: Mixon again fails to find the end zone despite falling forward and getting within inches from the goal line. Pain.

No RB had more expected half PPR points than Mixon (30.1) in Week 5. As Al Pacino once said: “Life is just a game of inches. So is (fantasy) football.”

Cincinnati Bengals running back Joe Mixon (28) is stopped at the goal line by the Arizona Cardinals at State Farm Stadium in Glendale on Oct. 8, 2023.

Here’s the full list of Week 5’s players who managed to get the football within three feet of the goal line, but not quite across the plane, and ultimately didn’t score later on the same drive:

• Bengals RB Joe Mixon  (3x on the same drive)
• Lions RB David Montgomery (2x on separate drives)
• 49ers RB Christian McCaffrey
• 49ers RB/WR Deebo Samuel
• Panthers RB/WR Laviska Shenault
• Lions WR Kalif Raymond

“Congrats” to D’Andre Swift and Mixon for being the only players with three such instances of this sheeshy affair so far in 2023.

The likes of Montgomery, C.J. Stroud, Brian Robinson, Josh Jacobs, Rachaad White, Joshua Kelley, A.J. Dillon, Kyren Williams, Isiah Pacheco and Rashee Rice are the only other players with two such sheeshes this season.

Cardinals WR Marquise Brown almost went nuclear

Air yards measure the distance that any given pass travels (wait for it) in the air.

Subtracting yards after the catch from every player’s receiving yards total before taking the difference with total air yards helps us pinpoint exactly how much opportunity through the air a player failed to come down with for one reason or another.

Sometimes unrealized air yards are more akin to “prayer yards” because the pass wasn’t overly catchable in the first place, so grinding the ole film helps with identifying those sorts of situations.

The following 11 players racked up at least 70 unrealized air yards in Week 5:

• Packers WR Christian Watson (148 unrealized air yards - many were of the “prayer” variety)
• Cardinals WR Marquise Brown (123 — this near miss in particular hurt)
• Ravens WR Zay Flowers (108)
• Cowboys WR Brandin Cooks (104)
• Steelers WR George Pickens (101)
• Saints WR Chris Olave (87 — and he nearly had possession long enough to haul in this potential 30-yard score)
• Patriots WR Kendrick Bourne (85)
• Bears WR Darnell Mooney (83 — these two near misses in particular hurt)
• Titans WR DeAndre Hopkins (73)
• Broncos WR Jerry Jeudy (71)
• Bills WR Stefon Diggs (70)

DeAndre Hopkins was (again) so close, yet so far away

Our previous section helped quantify the most missed opportunities through the air, but there were an additional handful of targets that I can’t help call out because it sure seemed like the following players could have put six points on the board with a bit more accurate pass.

Last week we highlighted a near-miss 45-yard bomb from Ryan Tannehill to DeAndre Hopkins on a well-designed trick play.

This week, Hopkins was again the beneficiary of some well-designed tricky play-calling, but this time it was Derrick Henry who laid the ball out just a bit too far for Hopkins to get both feet down in the back of the end zone on what would have been a fun 13-yard score.

Don’t feel too bad for Hopkins’ fantasy managers — he posted season-high marks in receptions (8) and yards (140) against the Colts — but it’s still rather sheeshy that he’s been inches away from snapping his scoreless streak in back-to-back weeks.

Additional “jump out of your seat” incompletions featuring varying levels of pressure, openness and other extenuating factors:

• Cardinals WR Marquise Brown: Potential aforementioned 73-yard TD was thrown too long for the artist known as Hollywood to have any chance at hauling in the bomb.
• Rams WR TuTu Atwell: Potential 63-yard TD sailed just wide of Atwell's (admittedly small) catch radius. The speedy second-year WR had split the safeties and had nothing but green grass in front of him.
• Jets WR Garrett Wilson: Potential 56-yard house call was thrown wide and out of bounds, although Zach Wilson deserves some slack on this one due to being under immense pressure.
• Bears RB Khalil Herbert: Potential 55-yard TD with nothing but green grass ahead of him was undone by an underthrow that sadly caused him to suffer a high-ankle sprain.
• Bengals WR Trenton Erwin: Potential 50-yard flea flicker score would have needed a perfect throw, but was ultimately just a bit too long.
• Commanders WR Jahan Dotson: Potential 23-yard TD on a corner route sailed out on bounds.
• Titans WR Nick Westbrook-Ikhine: Potential 22-yard score underthrown and nearly intercepted.
• Panthers WR Jonathan Mingo: Potential eight-yard score was thrown too far inside and allowed the coverage defender to break up the pass.
• Bengals WR Ja’Marr Chase: Potential seven-yard score was thrown just a bit too low, although the window was admittedly tight.
• Colts TE Kyle Granson: Potential five-yard score was thrown short by Gardner Minshew while trying to avoid heavy incoming pressure.

Kirk Cousins can’t catch a break

The Vikings were officially charged with dropping six passes during their Week 5 loss to the Chiefs — good for the second-highest single-game mark of the year behind only the Ravens’ aforementioned case of butter fingers.

Sadly, there were two particular drops from Cousins’ pass-catchers that sure seemed to have a chance to produce six points.

Oct 8, 2023; Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA; Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins (8) passes against the Kansas City Chiefs in the second quarter at U.S. Bank Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

The full story on these two instances as well as three other official drops that seemingly would have produced TDs:

• Ravens WR Nelson Agholor (potential 43-yard TD, although he would have needed to avoid a potential shoestring tackle from the corner he dusted)
• Vikings TE Josh Oliver (potential 23-yard TD, but was close to the sideline and leaping over a defender so the score wasn’t a complete sure thing)
• Vikings RB Alexander Mattison (potential 19-yard TD, would have needed to follow his blockers correctly to find the score but sheesh oh sheesh it sure looked good)
• Ravens WR Rashod Bateman (potential 4-yard TD, brutally dropped)
• Ravens TE Mark Andrews (potential 4-yard TD, less-brutally dropped)

There were also a few instances of players not committing official drops, but it certainly would have been a lot cooler had they managed to come down with these subjectively catchable passes:

• Commanders WR Dyami Brown had potential 39- and 3-yard scores go just off his fingertips. Critics will argue the former was thrown just a tad too long, and the latter a bit too far behind, but either way: Sheesh.
• Jaguars WR Calvin Ridley caught a lovely 12-yard fade from Trevor Lawrence but sadly only managed to get one foot down inbounds. This phenomenon has happened to T-Law an official 1,345 times this season.
• Steelers WR Allen Robinson had a potential seven-yard score fly just over his out-stretched hands on a ball that looked like it would have hit him in the chest had he not fallen down while coming out of his break.
• Jaguars TE Evan Engram (from 31 yards out), Giants TE Darren Waller (26) and Chiefs TE Travis Kelce (21) had potential TDs hit their hands in the end zone, but great respective individual defensive efforts managed to break up the near scores.
• Vikings WR K.J. Osborn literally ducked out of the way of a potential 11-yard score from Kirk Cousins. I’m not saying this was a perfect pass, but it’s objectively pretty funny watching an NFL WR duck out of the way of a pass when, you know, they are being paid to catch TDs.

Yes, I’m telling you Christian Kirk could have had an even bigger day

Defensive pass interferences can be finicky and don’t always occur in instances when the targeted receiver would FOR SURE make the catch.

That said: They are very annoying for fantasy managers to deal with when the result could’ve, should’ve, would’ve been a chunk gain — and maybe even a TD.

The top five players in most yards gained courtesy of drawing DPI flags were as follows:

• Chiefs WR Marquez Valdes-Scantling (31 yards gained via DPI penalty)
• Jaguars WR Christian Kirk (26)
• Commanders WR Terry McLaurin (25 — down to the two-yard line)
• Colts WR Michael Pittman (22)
• Colts WR Alec Pierce (16 — had potential to be a 65-yard house call considering his defender basically tried to drag him down after getting got on a double-move)

Also note Eagles WR A.J. Brown (from the 14-yard line) and Bengals TE Irv Smith (12) drew defensive pass interference penalties in the end zone on drives that (sadly for their fantasy managers) didn’t end with them celebrating in the end zone.

Panthers TE Tommy Tremble also was the beneficiary of defensive holding on a rather pretty end zone target by Bryce Young from 20 yards out.

Tyler Boyd deserved better

TDs usually get nullified by a penalty for a good reason, but that doesn’t make the roller coaster of adrenaline any less sheeshful for fantasy managers to deal with.

In Week 5 there were two such instances.

*Law and Order Music*

These are their stories:

Bills WR Gabriel Davis hauled in a nine-yard TD reception — but not so fast my friend: Stefon Diggs was flagged for offensive pass interference on the score.

Plot twist: Josh Allen went back to Davis on the very next play, and the two proceeded to hook up again for a 19-yard score. It was basically that meme of the soccer player holding up the uno reverse card to the referee’s yellow card.

Bengals WR Tyler Boyd caught a short pass in the flat, made a NICE juke to make one defender miss, then managed to avoid a second would-be tackler long enough to reach the ball across the pylon for a 17-yard TD.

One problem: G Alex Cappa was flagged for illegal use of hands. The call seemed questionable, particularly to those who started Boyd in fantasy land.

This Patriots offense sure looks to be broken

While the box score doesn’t account for who to blame on any particular interception, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that sometimes the QB isn’t to blame.

There were three particularly impacted QBs in Week 5:

Patriots QB Mac Jones' first interception was a result of him getting drilled while throwing, and the second bounced off Ty Montgomery's hands. Hence, it makes sense that head coach Bill Belichick said that the loss: “Certainly wasn’t all on him (Mac).”

Bills QB Josh Allen had a deep ball wrestled away from Stefon Diggs for an interception inside the 10-yard line on what was effectively an arm punt on 3rd and 15.

Bengals QB Joe Burrow's lone interception occurred because WR Trenton Erwin tripped over a defender and fell before being able to even make an attempt at catching what looked to otherwise be an accurate ball.