I've heard all of your cries of confusion, collusion, and contempt. But please, save your blood, sweat, and tears for Sundays. We can easily hash out the logistical league bullsh*t together. Right here. Right now. 

You've got problems? Yo, I'll solve it. 

Let's see what we've got in today's mailbag:

💌 From: AlwaysABridesmaid

Q: “Why, as the commish, do I never win my league!?”

AlwaysABridesmaid,

Don't be silly. This was your plan all along, remember? To build trust in your league, you needed to have a few losses under your belt first. No one wants to see their commish clean house year after year. If I'm being honest, this strategy isn't talked about enough. The trick, however, is to surprise your league when they least expect it. So this year: try to win. 

Okay, okay. On a more serious note, you may be allocating too much of your bandwidth towards managing the league and not enough towards running your own personal team(s). 

Do a quick self-assessment. Is there anything you can cut out? Are you spending Sunday mornings checking everyone's lineups to make sure no one's starting an injured player, when you could be worrying about your own start/sit decisions? Are leaguemates texting for last-minute favors that take away from your tinkering? 

Set boundaries. It's time for some clear-cut league rules to cut out the extra BS. Once you take a little more time for yourself and spend it on your team, you might just come home with a trophy. 

💌 From: AndyReadYourTradeOffers

Q: “I'm so good at fantasy that people are scared to trade with me. Many people are saying it. So many.”

AndyReadYourTradeOffers,

While this isn't a question, it is a common issue faced by many fantasy managers. You craft a trade, send it, and receive nothing but crickets in return. 

I'll answer your non-question with a real question: What kind of trade partner are you?

  • Are your offers becoming background noise? Are you firing off so many trades each week that you've become just another phone alert? 
  • Do you make trading feel like work? When someone does finally show interest in your offers, do you haggle them down to the bone? 
  • Are you trading with only your team in mind? Have you ever considered checking your partner's roster to see if they even need another RB? 

When deemed mutually beneficial, trade offers are often taken seriously. So it's time to take some accountability. 

If trade offers are being accepted in your league between other league mates, while your offers are being ignored… It's time to take a look in the mirror. And it's time to take a different approach.

💌 From: L7Weenie 

Q: “How do we get last year's loser to complete their league punishment? The clock is ticking!”

Oh L7Weenie, You're not going to like this, but you need to dish out some tough love. It's ultimatum time: The loser has to complete their punishment before the draft (set a hard deadline) OR they forfeit their spot in the league. Plain and simple.

One skipped punishment makes the threat of all punishments meaningless. 

I don't care if it's your mom, your boss, or your best friend. For league punishments to work, there has to be unwavering trust throughout the entire league. If one person backs out of a punishment without consequence, what's stopping everyone else from doing the same year after year? 

So what will it be, loser? Fulfill or Forfeit?

💌 From: WaiverWorrier

Q: “I manage a couple of leagues where there seems to be too many waiver moves. I'm all for being active, but some teams are just grabbing every player that shows a flash of potential and dropping them the next week, hoping to get lucky. While this isn't totally unfair, I like the idea of being intentional with who I grab on waivers. Is there a way to meet in the middle with these two different play styles?”

Dear sweet WaiverWorrier, 

Playing by the rules doesn't always mean playing nicely. The hard truth is this: There's no way to prevent leaguemates from playing the system. 

Sir I-Sack Newton once said, "For every established fantasy rule, there is an equal and opposite way to use that rule to your advantage." No matter how you construct the league settings, there will be ways to "abuse" it. 

BUT there is good news! 

There are ways to mitigate these round-the-clock, incessant waiver wire dart throws. You need to dip your dawgs toes into the world of Free Agent Auction Budgets (FAAB). 

FAAB allows everyone to get a shot at their waiver heroes…for a price. Because their FAAB bids are blind and their spending is limited, your league will have to be more intentional with their waiver decisions. 

Using Waiver Wire Tools or their gut intuition, they'll have to decide if they want to blow their FAAB early or hoard it for later. Or…a happy mix of the two.

Pro-Tip: For leagues new to FAAB, allow for $0 FAAB bids. This allows managers with nothing left to bid to still remain active in waivers. Sure, it may be slim pickings, but they can at least swap out kickers (sorry, Ian Hartitz) during bye weeks if needed.

💌 Is Your League Looking For Help?

Is your fantasy league falling apart at the seams? Are there signs of collusion or inept leadership? We're here to help. 

If your league needs an official ruling: contact @cooterdoodle and be sure to subscribe to the Fantasy Life newsletter to find your answers in next week's Commish Mailbag.